Poor Admiral Ackbar has been assigned to muse duty entirely by accident it seems - all the dear fishman wants to do is relax, write his memoirs, and go fishing. Or whatever fish do - perhaps it's "go humaning". In any case, the good Admiral appears to be suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder. He maintains, however, that he is not. He maintains that "It's a trap!"

Clever, resourceful, modest, and soft-spoken, Agent 99 is a formidable force in the fight against evil, whether an international organization or the regular garden variety. She is devoted to Max and does her best to keep him on track, standing beside and behind him as they deal with KAOS. Usually, she ends up saving his more harebrained plot suggestions with skill and quick-thinking but is quick to give him the credit for her ideas.

Padme Amidala reserves her hatred for two men in the universe – George Lucas and George Lucas. Technically speaking, he's just one man – but Padme maintains that by the time she is finished with her revenge for the bloody awful plotting she got in Revenge of the Sith ol' Georgie-boy won't even be half a man. Padme spends most of her time inspiring Star Wars AUs where she ends up with a certain High General with a lightsaber. Or just doesn't end up with bloody Darth Whiner.

It would be nice to suggest that Anck doesn't spend her time plotting to cover the world in a wave of scouring, semi-sentient sand – but we aren't sure if that would be true. So far, her greatest feat has been inspiring Lady Deb to use her face for one of her OCs, Detective Elena Gutierrez y Andrade. And the rest of her, of course.

Aramis is perhaps the most silent of the muses - some might like to think that this is due to the fact he spends his time in mystical contemplation of the mysteries of the universe and God, but the truth of the matter is he's not entirely sure if any of us are really worthy of his attention. Although, FireMaiden insists he clammed up when France lost the World Cup. An expert fighter, pious (most of the time) priest and brilliant philosopher Aramis is the example of the man many other muses refer to as a "jammy git." They have not, however, yet seen him cut loose with Athos, Porthos, and D'Artagnan.

Hired mostly because she thinks he looked cute and sexy in glasses, Almyra also figured it might be nice to have an academic in the house to keep her company when Dr.S is out of town. Unfortunately, Bruce spends most of his time surreptitiously mooning over Arwen and trying to avoid everyone, mostly because he would rather not hulk-out and trample his employer. He would love to give advice on action scenes, but finds he can't remember anything of use once he returns to his normal self. Lucy and Ginny seem to be the only ones who can calm the Hulk down when he makes his appearance, as everyone else, even the Jedi, stay prudently out of his way.

Dr Beckett is the Chief Medical officer of Stargate : Atlantis; which means that he has experience with treating all sorts of wounds caused by a wide variety of things. Including fish. It is not really known if he's actually any good as a Muse, as any advice he offers causes his Mistress to simply go into raptures of ecstasy over his accent. It must be pointed out that the only British member of the Gwethil who has heard his accent does consider it to be the most fake Scottish accent he has ever heard. But that doesn't worry Mel – she's too busy swooning.

Captain Bendy is not a toy – he is an Action Figure. He spends most of his time avoiding jokes about what uses someone would put an eight-inch piece of plastic modeled after Sean Bean to. After complaints that he was surrounded by “you giant freaks” Lara Croft found a anatomically-correct doll . . . I mean, Action Figure of herself called Angelina Figurina. She and Captain Bendy have been filling the house with the stench of friction-heated latex.

Hard to believe, but he was actually supposed to die in the original drafts of The Mummy. Indeed, when it looked like he had, in the infamous, 'save the girl, kill the Creature' scene, there were screams of outrage from smitten women of all ages. So much so that the chieftain of the Medjai is uncertain which is more dangerous. . .Imhotep and his legions of undead priests or fangirls of any age.

Currently pursuing a mainline career as the world's best known superspy, James Bond is taking his new side job as Mercury's muse in charge of action sequences, expensive cars, and international flair very seriously. Cold, distant, sarcastic, and just a little egotistical at times, he and Ian enjoy joyriding in Bond's collection of Aston Martins and sharing spy stories when they're not on duty.

Boromir is one of the better muses – effective in a brawl, charming when he needs to be, good at inspiration and able to eat a whole basket of barbeque chicken wings without breaking a sweat, Boromir is all things to all men. Most often found offering sage advice on stories, or kicking the ass of people foolish enough to tick him off, Boromir likes to relax by drinking with Peter Pevensie and Obi-Wan Kenobi in the local Texas Roadhouse. He usually takes his shield with him.

Hired in order to give his Mistress some help with writing some action scenes, this has so far proven to be abortive. When handed a manuscript he rolls it up tightly and jams it into someone's throat. Handing him a pen to correct something is doomed to failure, and no-one dare let him get near a computer. It is hoped, however, that with judicious work, he may become a valued addition to the stable of muses.

Essentially Q with a tonsure, Carl is an incredibly skilled man, capable of creating a wide variety of lethal devices with a startlingly high technological level given what he is working with. No-one has so far dared give him a lightsaber to take apart. Very much aware of just how much of canon law actually applies to him, Carl enjoys taking things apart, putting them back together in different forms and liquids which aren't viscous.

Sheldon is a douche.

Perhaps the most sensible and level-headed of Darknight's muses (bear in mind, the competition is hardly stellar and she does raid tombs wearing nothing more than a swimsuit and daisy dukes), Dr Croft is always eager to explore strange new tombs and shoot innocent men in suits. She has a huge crush on Daniel Jackson and is eager to show him her meso-American pottery.

Stephen help to put the shattered Nick back together and from that, a fierce friendship developed . . . a friendship that was put in peril when Helen returned, along with the revelation that Helen had slept with Stephen while still married to Nick. Helen continued to interfere with the two’s friendship and lives, culminating in Stephen losing his life in the second season finale. Nick died not long after, and the duo found themselves employed as muses . . . where they can finally repair their friendship.

Luke Danes was brought on board by Melanie when she realized that all her muses were either dead or ascended at some point. As someone who remains perpetually in the land of the living, Luke has brought a bit more stability to the group. The fact that his authoress believes he is the only man on the planet who could look sexy in a backwards baseball cap probably had something to do with his adoption as well. He is exceedingly fond of Padme, regarding her as a little sister, and has also taken a bit of pressure off Daniel to be the 'snarky' one in the group. His talents as a cook are not unappreciated, as everyone is glad to get a break from the haggis Carson always tries to sneak to them once a week. His loyalty to Melanie is probably due, at least somewhat, to the fact that she believes three things. 1) Christopher is a twit, 2) Lorelai and Luke belong together, and 3) Christopher is a twit. So far, he seems quite happy.

Hired in the wake of a massive Netflix-marathon of watching the whole of season 6 of NCIS, Officer David brings her own particular blend of enthusiasm, beauty, brains and brawn to the group. Not to mention bagels and lox. It's a bit like krav maga, only with more cream-cheese and capers, and less abject violence. Ziva has proven to be a highly-competent muse, advising on international politics, intelligence services and combat. She has been seen (and heard) sparing with Hauptmann Wardenclyffe - it is unclear how much of this has a theological cause and how much is geo-political. He generally takes a while to recognize her.

Mel (who has issues with change) fell hard for the Ninth Doctor and was horribly sad to see him go. Resentment towards the Tenth Doctor, however, was short-lived. Half an episode, in fact. Unable to make up her mind, she decided she needed both of them. After all, they are the same man. No one is entirely sure exactly what the Doctor does around here. Like Haldir and Qui-Gon, he seems content to chime in with his opinion only occasionally. Of course, that does keep him out of trouble with his authoress, so perhaps it’s what he’s aiming for. It also frees up more of his time to ‘hang out’ with his companion, Rose Tyler. Melanie is more than happy to make sure they get plenty of time together.

Warrior and vampire, the first of his kind, Drake is the foundation of Kay's vampire stories. He's trying to fit in to modern society, but won't resist the urge to pull out a sword and hack and slash his enemies. He has his own code of conduct, but will temper his, well, temper when Kay needs him to chill out. Fighting and biting are his favorite pastimes, followed closely by urging for more blood in battle scenes.

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Eomer is very much a guys' guy - tough, resourceful, handsome and possessed of his own stud farm (fnar-fnar) Eomer is not adverse to drinking, singing and kicking ass. Devoted to his somewhat snooty but incredibly hot (and, if the rumors are true, dynamite in bed) wife Lotheriel Eomer is usually reluctant to hit the local Hooters or Texas Roadhouse to chat up the chicks with Obi-Wan, Pevensie and the rest. Still, he can break a filly with the best of them.

Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was adopted by Melanie so that she could have a nice, sweet muse. Polite, kind, and always a gentleman, Fraser is an officer of the law who can track a man for miles in the frozen wilderness, but can’t tell when a woman is interested in him unless she practically throws herself at his feet. This, of course, only makes him more attractive to the opposite sex. Fraser’s deaf wolf Diefenbaker is also the official mascot of Muses’R’Us. Together, Fraser and Dief are navigating the murky waters of musehood. So far, so good. There are worries that his surprising friendship with Dr. Rodney McKay may just rub off on Fraser, though. We are watching for signs of snarkiness.

Rosie Cotton-Gamgee was hired as a muse mainly because of her skill with cooking utensils – and not just hitting people with them like her erstwhile husband either, but actually cooking with the things. She does, however, bring a certain feminine quality to what is otherwise just a muscles and guns occupation, advising her Mistress on key elements of the plot which don't involve making things go splat.

One of the most powerful Elf-Lords in Rivendell, a Noldor Lord of the House of Finarfin, Glorfindel had quite enough clout to avoid being in the movie, thank you very much. However, when it came to trying to get out of being a muse, being a Gnomish Knight just wasn't going to cut it.

Handy with a gun and his fists when he needs to be and even handier with a witty remark and an eye for lovely ladies, Archie was hired by Al to provide the same services for her as he does for Mr. Nero Wolfe - namely, to be a pest and bother until some thinking work is done on the boss's part and largely to do all the difficult and sometimes dirty legwork himself. Archie is not yet sure what to make of his new circumstances or his new co-worker muses, who fascinate and entertain and annoy him to no end. While he sorely misses Fritz's cooking, he is rather pleased to find here he may have all the milk he likes.

Bushy haired, intelligent and often somewhat annoying, Hermione was recruited so that she could be paired off happily with Ron without the interference of any delusional Harmonious shippers. She spends most of her time arguing with Susan Pevensie and Eponine, alternately snogging and insulting Ron Weasley, and picking on Jess for her bad grammar.

Along with Daniel “AscenDEAD” Jackson, Haldir helps Melanie run Muses 'R' Us. In addition, he helps Melanie with various pieces of inspiration and editing. It is suspected – but ever entirely confirmed – that he has been secretly inspiring FireMaiden on the side, as she has written a number of stories which feature him getting some action. Also, Cath. In fact, Haldir seems to get all the girls, if the truth be told.

Stephen and Nick’s wife Helen disappeared. Stephen help to put the shattered Nick. Helen continued to interfere with the two’s friendship and lives, culminating in Stephen losing his life in the second season finale. Nick died not long after, and the duo found themselves employed as muses . . . where they can finally repair their friendship.

Ah, darling Jacob. His show may be cancelled, but he is well-loved here. Intelligent and (mostly) soft-spoken, Jacob provides a nice foil for McKay’s brashness and doesn’t put up with any lip from the astrophysicist. He commiserates often with Fraser about the unfairness of shows cancelled too early and has forged an interesting friendship with Pepper, who had mostly kept to herself around the guys until his arrival. Taking the full-time job in shifts with Carson and Haldir, Jacob is one of the muses who are most able to calm Melanie when she’s upset about something. It’s quite possible that it’s because he often lets himself slip into his ‘natural’ accent when he speaks to her, but the world may never know. The suspicion hasn’t been confirmed because she’s usually not able to speak for a while after he does.

A very young 'bot when Optimus Prime was killed in action by Megatron, Hot Rod found himself with an unexpected upgrade when the Matrix of Leadership fell into his hands, almost literally . . . to say nothing of headaches galore. In the unenviable position of following in the footsteps of a revered leader like Optimus Prime, the young leader nonetheless forged ahead, though not without a great deal of self-doubt. Now, he's been accepted without question by the rest of Lady Deb's muses, though that has much to do with his response when Merit Solo's youngest daughter Jocasta spit up on him. Rodimus considers that a small price to pay for unconditional acceptance and acts as the protector for the muses as a whole. To date, his greatest accomplishment as a muse has been inspiring a story based on the 2007 Transformers movie, as well as a Star Wars / Transformers crossover, in which Rodimus partners with the Jedi most like himself in certain ways, and total opposite in others: Jedi Master and High General Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Merc’s senior muse and right-hand man, Ian Howe’s been out of prison on work-release for some time now, and is slowly coming around to the idea that money can be made without breaking any laws. Strangely proud and also very prickly, Ian is fiercely protective of his authoress and her work. A man’s man to the core, Ian spends a lot of his time arguing with his authoress about the content of her work, which he maintains should have more action in it, and even more time avoiding helping her with her poetry, which he’s not terrifically fond of.

Depending on when you read this, Daniel Jackson may be dead. Or Ascended. Or both – it's a bit of a lottery with him. Despite these disadvantages, Daniel has proven to be a valuable muse and is a great help with running Muses 'R' Us. He is currently dating Major Tierra Jael Whitney of the United States Marine Corps, one of Melanie's OCs. In addition, however, Lara Croft has demonstrated a forlorn and hopeless desire for him – possibly because he is one of the few men who she could shoot accidentally and have it not matter at all.

Qui-Gon Jinn is clearly the man, the boy, the kiddie. He demonstrates a habit of using the Force in ways which we would use the Force if we had it. He casually uses it to get a ride, to win games of chance and in an attempt to pass off foreign currency to some poor junk trader just trying to make an honest living. When presented with a door which is closed and which he would like open, what does he do? Whips out a lightsaber and gets mediaeval, that's what. The only regret is that Qui-Gon was not more involved in the training of Anakin – perhaps then the Chosen One might not have turned into Darth Emo.

Although not the first AI with wheels to be assigned to muse duty, KITT is certainly one of the more intelligent and thoughtful muses. Possessed of a dry wit, an encyclopedic knowledge of many different subjects and a incredible zero-to-sixty time, KITT is a vital addition to the Gwethil's muses - not merely because it means that people who can't drive can get where they are going without too much difficulty.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is famed for his unflappable calm in a crisis, and his love of a good brawl in a bar. Not over and above using the Force when it suits him (that is, when he wants to get some service) he divides his time between baiting Harry Potter, flirting shamelessly with Merit Solo (one of Lady Deb's OCs), drinking with his good buddies Boromir and Peter Pevensie and reminding everyone that Anakin wasn't really his fault.

With the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a cat and the hair of a shampoo advert, Legolas is a vital and valuable addition to the stable of muses. Not really half as prissy as he looks (which would be hard) Legolas is a formidable fighter who is only hampered by the fact he doesn't want to get blood all over his clothes.

While Jack's easily the snarkiest of Lady Deb's muses, it's unclear if that comes from working with the Snark Master, Dale Easter, or hanging around with his twin cousins, Lorenzo and Luis Alcazar. When he's not trying to keep pace with his cousins (Luis in particular), Jack's true self emerges. . .a resourceful team-player who likes the ladies just as much as they like him. To date, Jack's greatest accomplishments as a muse have come in inspiring the characters of Thane Solo (Out of the Ruins, Out from the Wreckage) and Gunnery Sergeant (retired) Gavin Rafferty (the Champions series).

Mike Logan has a long and colorful past with the NYPD including his reputation for being a bit of a hot-head. Kicked out of NYC and banished to Staten Island after punching out a city Alderman, Logan spent a long time trying to work his way back to the city. A true ladies’ man, Logan has enough Irish charm and wit to enchant most women but no one woman ever really seemed to capture his heart. At least, not until FireMaiden got a hold of him and started writing fanfiction. He’s not quite sure how to feel about that . . .

Neville, unlike the other HP muses, has actually served as an object of inspiration (and lust) for Jess. His sweet, caring nature make him utterly beloved to all who meet him, but his over-protectiveness of Luna shows that they were just made for each other. (Take THAT, JKR!) Current Professor of Herbology at Hogwarts, Neville takes frequent trips to Jess to give her ideas for stories, most of which she has not written yet.

Luna's mild nature and tendency to believe in the impossible often leads her to clash with Hermione, but the two are friends beneath it all. Luna spends most of her time contemplating, or keeping Neville company, and wondering who on earth Rolf Scamander is.

Don't let the slightly prickly demeanor fool you - Vesper Lynd is very good at her job, and very friendly, once you get acquainted. Working for the British Treasury Department means that she's used to dealing with millions of dollars at a time, and doing it with style, too, so simple matters like story plotlines and character assets are small change for her. She's one of the only women on the planet Bond takes seriously, and while she's often indignant with him, those who know her well know that is only pretend, and that she is in reality quite fond of him. Her role in Mercury's muse arsenal includes keeping track of expenditures, keeping the budget in order, and making sure the three men on the team don't get out of hand.

What really needs to be said about MacGuyver? He can fix anything with duct tape, escape any messy situation, and generally make the world a better place just by flashing that smile. The ladies all think Mac is Mr. Wonderful (and they're right!) Nowadays, Mac is helping Kay with getting her OCs out of sticky situations.

Dr. Rodney McKay's adoption came about when Mel realized she could no longer resist her growing fondness for the character. He is whiny, pessimistic,egotistical, has zero people skills and is something of a hypochondriac . . . well, he's loved despite all that. He is unparalleled in the art of 'snarkiness', which only adds to his charm. Although he is arrogant and frequently brags about his intelligence, the fact that he can back up his claims 100% makes up for it. He is quite happy among Mel's muses, getting to hang out again with 'the closest thing to a best friend' he's ever had, Carson Beckett. And driving Daniel Jackson crazy in the process.

Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. The Highlander. Need any more be said?

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In the great style of “bad boys who at least partially redeem themselves,” Methos captured FireMaiden’s affection with his dry wit, his considerably shady background, and his considerable ability to out wit and out last the competition. He would easily ace “Survivor.” A burgeoning friendship between Methos and Severus Snape has been noted, and most of the other Muses feel nothing really good will eventually come from this. They’ve both been smirking.

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Recruited to help with research and any random long-dead Egyptian sorcerers which might come rampaging over the horizon, Evie is one of the few muses genuinely understood by her Mistress, simply because they have the same occupation and both are married to crazy doctors. Evie enjoys winding up Obi-Wan, who enjoys disordering her filecard system with the Force.

The King of Ithaca, a fantastic warrior and absolute genius, Odysseus tends to get the raw end of the deal. Let's just go over this, shall we? Forced to pledge allegiance to a King of Sparta he didn't really like, yanked away to a war not of his making which lasted for ten freaking years and then doomed to wander for ten freaking more it is hardly surprising that he didn't respond to the idea of being a muse too well. But he was eventually persuaded – it does have a great pension plan.

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One half of the greatest love story in antiquity, Penelope is in some ways the mother of all of Lady Deb's original characters. So when Odysseus found himself in the muse business, there was no way the queen of Ithaca was about to let her husband out of her sight. . .not that any sane person would want to come between those two again. Her dearest friends among the other muses/original characters are Celia Bey (wife of Ardeth) and Anck-su-namun, though she also has a great deal in common with Dread Lady Freya's Rosie Cotton Gamgee. When she isn't spending time with her husband and son, or weaving, she can usually be found putting her head together with the other women . . . all in the name of taking care of their respective men.

Sick of Ian saying that he "doesn't do poetry," Merc decided to invest in a new muse -- poet and perpetual student, Neil Perry. After a long stint with the Welton Academy Chapter of the Dead Poet's Society, Neil is an accomplished poet, actor, and all around nice guy, in compliment to Ian's more prickly demeanor, as well as being a little more sympathetic to the woes of being a college student. Despite the fact that canonically, he's dead, Neil is now bringing new life and vivacity (as well as a certain… puckish quality) into Merc's prose and poetry.

Perhaps considered an inevitable addition to his stable of Muses, Persephone nevertheless took a while to be employed by Darknight. Beautiful, seductive, manipulative and deliciously bitter, Persephone's skill at engineering (and reverse-engineering) relationships, assignations and recriminations is second to none. Most of the time, she just watches with coffee-dark eyes and shivers as raw emotion slithers around her wounded heart and soothes it. Her and Trinity have a tolerable working relationship, although Persephone's constant demands for kisses are wearing to almost everyone. Persephone herself is happy with her role as Muse, advising on personal interaction and growing (in her own words) "fat and happy" as she gorges herself on the complex buffet of emotions the Gwethil, their muses and OCs create.

Cheerful and optimistic, Lucy is the sort of muse one turns to for help with all things fluffy. Guardian and keeper of the Potty Mouth Bucket, she makes sure the rest of Al's muses either have clean language or pay for their indulgence in low behavior. She despairs over Peter and will occasionally smack him over the head, but she isn't above calling in her marker as the High King's favorite sister whenever it suits her purposes. Has been adopted by Merit Solo, likes to flirt with Daniel Jackson, and is annoyed by those scurrilous rumors about her relationship with Mr. Tumnus. He's a friend, people. A friend.

Peter is the nominal leader of Darknight's muses, simply because High King outranks (at least on paper) anything else the others can muster. Concerned with basically three things – girls, violence and drink – Peter likes nothing more than to go to the local Hooters with his pals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Boromir and start a ruck.

Pretty and lonely, Susan has given up her flirtatious ways and is now contemplating the life of a singleton. Although she finds it depressing, every eligible male bachelor muse has an interest. Susan recently starred in Jess' trilogy of redemption fics, but is getting sick of reading about herself in the world of fanfiction.

With a voice as amazing as Anthony Warlow's and a face as hot as Gerard Butler's, the Phantom defies all boundaries. Incredibly sulky and emotional, he has recently taken to flirting with Eponine in the absence of Christine, and has vowed to take revenge on Jess with his infamous punjab lassoo for creating such a cracked-up 'ship. Rather antisocial, the Phantom enjoys sulking in dark cellars and singing wistful songs about the point of no return.

Witty, erudite, articulate and clever – all qualities in a Star Fleet captain that make James Tiberius Kirk roll over in his grave, or at least get a severe migraine. And all qualities possessed by Captain Jean Luc Picard… but if gossip holds true, he was a randy and wild bloke when he was younger (remember how he got that biomechanical heart?). Picard can get more women simply by reciting the alphabet – that voice, that magnificent voice! – than Will Riker could even THINK about getting, even if Riker had seven consecutive lifetimes to do it.

Acquired in the heat of the moment following the release of Deathly Hallows, Al isn't quite sure what added value Harry brings to her organization, aside from the fact that he brought Ginny along with him. He's quite good at lying about and glowering, when he's not trying to start fights. His annoying behavior particularly rattles Peter and Obi-Wan, and oftentimes when he gets to be too much, they'll have Jason Bourne stuff him in a trashcan. It probably shouldn't come as a surprise to hear that - technically - Voldemort actually killed himself. Harry spent too much time breaking the rules and getting away with it, rather than studying the spells to do the job properly when the time came.

After watching the awesomeness that is the movie Iron Man, Mel decided that Pepper Potts would make an equally awesome muse. For three reasons. 1) Padme, as the only canon girl muse, was a bit lonely not having someone to do the girl talk with. 2) Mel desperately needed a good organizer for a muse and Pepper is nothing if not organized. 3) Pepper Potts is, in Mel’s opinion, quite possibly the best ‘girlfriend’ of a superhero EVER. Pepper has been fitting in wonderfully so far, getting along very well with Padme and balancing her job as a muse with her job as Tony Stark’s assistant very nicely. And she is so good at putting people effectively in their place that not even McKay has snapped at her, yet.

Red, as she likes to be called, ain't so little any more. She's all grown up - "In all the right places," as Peter Pevensie says. Having been left a large inheritance by her Grandmother (who, it seems, survived being cut out of the Big Bad Wolf's stomach only to tragically die while choking on a cookie) she lives in a 10,000 sq ft gingerbread mansion in the middle of the forest. She spends her nights as a vigilante, working out her childhood traumas by hunting wolves so that no other little girls will ever be afraid to walk to their grandmothers' houses. She's been seen talking with Carl about developing some "wonderful toys" for her - she appears to be paying in baked-goods and favors that only a friar (not a monk) can accept. Periodically, she turns up at Darknight's house, bearing goodies and distracting the other muses.

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In spite of the protests of the other muses, Will Schuester was brought on board because . . . well, just because. Rose wanted help with inspiring videos and Mel was determined to possess a muse who could sing to her. Mr. Schue (as his students call him) fit the bill perfectly. Also, being a muse got him away from his wife, which was a good thing in Mel's book. His gullibility makes him something of a target for the less scrupulous muses, but his voice and sweet nature have inspired the protective sides of Padme and Rose. So Melanie isn’t too worried about him at this point. Will, as always, is eager to face the task before him and has already promised Mel that he will do his best to help her with "Storm Clouds May Gather". Which is a huge relief for Mel. And an even bigger one for Padme.

Raised in the stews of London, Sharpe was an orphan destined for a hard life, ultimately taking the King's shilling by joining the British Army at a young age, and battling his way through Europe during the 18th century. Dispite the fact that most officer's commissions were bought by members of the nobility, Sharpe managed to rise from the ranks, only to fall a step or two due to his wayward ways. Considered something of a loose cannon, Sharpe saves the life of the Duke of Wellington, and gradualy earns his way up (and down) the ranks. His bravery brought him honors and enemies, his cleverness gave him success and scars, and from his way with the ladies he received several children.

A secret agent devoted to the forces of virtue instead of rottenness, Maxwell Smart often triumphs due to sheer luck rather than consummate skill. Hired to keep the forces of KAOS at bay so Al will have more time to write, Max tends to spend his time demanding the Cone of Silence and suggesting outrageous plot twists or ingenious gadgets for use in her stories. He doesn't deny he tends to bungle assignments, he just resents the implication.

The much maligned Severus Snape certainly got the last laugh in Rowling’s final "Harry Potter" book (despite the stupid snake), and serves as the classic example of not judging a book by its proverbial cover. Intelligent and crafty, he’s got little tolerance for fools, but is a great mate to have at the pub. It is amazing how many times he can refill pints of beer with that wand of his before the barkeep catches on! You have not partied until you’ve done a London Pub Crawl with Severus Snape.

People have finally seen the Vulcan behind the logic now that the new movie is out, and Spock certainly raised some eyebrows when it was revealed that he and Lieutenant Uhura were hooking up during Uhura’s academy days. When asked, his only reply was, "Of course it was logical… she was totally hot. Plus, Kirk needed to learn he wasn’t the only player on the Enterprise."

Hired as a result of the other guys in Darknight's stable of muses wanting "another dude around here - one with some cash who won't keep us on a small allowance like Lara". Having said all that, the girls didn't voice too many objections. Tony, as he prefers to be called, spends his time advising on technical details, scientific accuracy and financial matters. Periodically, he disappears for long stretches of time which just happen to coincide with the appearance of his bodyguard Ironman.

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Recruited in order to help Jess with her Les Miserables fics, Eponine now seems to spend most of her time either arguing or flirting (it is difficult to tell which) with the Phantom and making excessively exaggerated claims about her prowess as a singer. She has proven to be extremely effective at this, although as for actual inspiration – that is anyone's guess.

Described (accurately) by Peter as a “pagan tart”, Luthien has diligently attempted to cast off her prim and proper Elven princess image as swiftly as she has done her clothes. Formerly a lover of Obi-Wan Kenobi (and famed for the infamous statement, “Believe, me girls – there's nothing light about his saber!”) she is now currently “between men” (sometimes literally) after the appearance of Merit Solo (one of Lady Deb's OCs) on the scene.

Hired because of her experience with action / adventure stories with a strong philosophical bent, and also because she is super-hot, Trinity is a formidable and expert muse. She has forged an excellent working-relationship with Mace Windu and has inspired Harry to helpless lust. She spends most of her wages on talcum powder and baby-oil; something which does nothing to take the edge of Harry's desire.

Young Mr. Turner has certainly packed a lot into his life so far: Besotted young man. Skilled blacksmith. Up-and-coming pirate. Undead captain of the Flying Dutchman. Through it all, Will has managed to keep his keen sense of adventure intact. And for those people inclined to believe all of the ugly rumors about him being – as Jack Sparrow so eloquently said – “snip-snipped?” his masterful sword-work speaks for itself. Just ask Elizabeth.

Fin Tutuola is a man of few words and not someone most criminals ought to mess around with. He’s not afraid to get down and dirty when necessary, and he can take a bullet. While his character on Law & Order remains pretty emotionally aloof, Fin's got the proverbial "silent waters run deep" thing going on. One of his favorite memories of the SVU squad is the look on Detective Munch’s face when - after badgering Fin to tell him something no one else would know - Fin announced he was a Republican.

Rose Tyler came on board partly because the Doctor is basically a package deal. Mel also considers her to be truly awesome on many levels and it is nice to have another girl in the group. Especially since she is (or at least WAS) quite a normal girl and has never 1) ruled a planet as a teenager or 2) been the personal secretary to a billionaire superhero. It’s very rare that Rose has anything to say since she’s generally pre-occupied with the Doctor. But she has accomplished the amazing task of defeating Haldir on the Wii archery game McKay programmed. And, being such a big music fan, she is generally the one who helps Melanie with her fan videos.

Arwen is a late addition to Darknight's stable of muses, and was originally hired simply on a temporary basis to help with The Lay of Arwen Undomiel. However, she has proven to be a thoroughly conscientious, professional and intelligent muse, advising on a number of different projects with her customary aplomb. Luthien appears to hate her with a passion, calling her a "Third Age wannabe" and "cheap knock-off". Arwen is flawlessly polite in return, but such cutting courtesy can sometimes be little less than a slap in the face. Perhaps owing to her facial similarity to Betsy Ross, the girlfriend of his bodyguard's fellow Avenger Bruce Banner, Tony Stark and Arwen have become firm friends.

Originally a villainess of the first order, Asajj had a change of heart after nearly dying at the hands of Anakin Skywalker. What became of her after she commandeered the Republic ship that was taking her 'corpse' back to Coruscant has never truly been known. . .until now. She's happily become a muse, assisting her 'sister' Merit in taking care of the man Asajj wronged so terribly, namely Obi-Wan Kenobi. She's also taken on the training of Merit's fellow time traveler, Obi-Wan Kenobi. She's also taken on the training of Amidala Kenobi, when she isn't honing the skills of Anakin Skywalker, who becomes the classical annoying little brother to the woman he once hated with a fiery passion.

Along with Lucy, Ginny was recruited to give Evie some company and has quickly distinguished herself as one of the hardest working muses in Al's retinue. Clever, confident, and rather outspoken, Ginny provides much practical advice and is quite handy with various spells, although Al wishes she would use some of them for housework instead of inspiration. Obi-Wan Kenobi considers her the next closest thing he has to a padawan these days, and though she loves Harry, she's decided he needs to stand on his own two feet and stop being such a whiner. Don't piss her off, or she'll cover you with giant flying bogeys.

Not actually that much of a literary inspiration, Ron lodges with the Gwethil to stay by Hermione. Who said that Ron wasn't loyal? Despite his lack of muse credentials, Ron's sense of humour keeps Jess and co. amused when they should perhaps be serious. Don't insult Hermione in front of him - or behind him - unless you want to have him burp slugs on you for the rest of the day.

Classy and down to earth, Mae provides the one feminine ray of inspiration to Kay's stories. Romance, sex, even witty repartee, all fall well within Mae's pervue. She rocks, she shocks, and she blocks the most uptight objections, bringing wit and humor to a new height. Yes, she's bawdy, but only in the most sophisticated way!

Mace Windu is substantially more kick-ass than you are. It is, in fact, theorized that Mace Windu is made entirely of kick-ass. Devoted to peace, civilization and kicking your ass Master Windu is an expert in the ways of the Force and provides significant inspiration for scenes which involve ass-kicking.

Bertram Wooster (more commonly known as 'Bertie' or 'young blot' or 'WOOSTER!') and his valet, Jeeves, were, along with Obi-Wan Kenobi, Al's original muses. Bertie himself does not provide much actual inspiration and instead divides his time between tossing rolls at blue-bottles at the Drones Club or puttering about on the piano with a cocktail by his side. Evie, Ginny, and Lucy dote on him and know they can count on him for a 'pip-pip' and hardy encouragement when the chips are down. Jeeves, on the other hand, is the quiet man behind the curtain who shimmers in and out while making everything possible, keeping everyone on schedule, and still having time to press clothing, go shopping, and make dinner. He is famous among the muses for his hangover cures and for his talent in procuring limos for the 'boys' nights out', and when he wears a 'soupy' expression or coughs like a sheep clearing its throat on a quiet mountainside, not even Bourne dares mess with him.

Although it has never been confirmed where Xena was born, current evidence is leaning towards the island of Lesbos. Hired because, originally, she said that she knew a lot about the “Saphic arts” and Darknight was working on poetry at the time, it seems as if something was lost in translation – although never quite enough. Xena's reputation as a kick-ass warrior-maiden has obscured the simple truth of the matter – she's basically a ditzy sorority girl with a magical chakram and a penchant for ticking off gods. Not a good combination.